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Self- Help — Developing Self Motivation

self- help — developing self motivation

Self- Help — Developing Self Motivation

Vivek Jayaraman
1st Oct, 2019

Self- Help — Developing Self Motivation

Getting better at what they do is what everyone aspires. Some make effort, some procrastinate, some want to but unable to, some are struck without resources and so on. If you want, you need to go behind it. Some have the motivation by default, others need to work hard. How to do that? There are lot many ways people build motivation. Some watch motivation speeches, read motivational books, derive inspiration from celebrity biographies and so on. The list is too long. Many a time, this derived motivation is like alcohol, pushes you when they are being taken but later you will be sober and back. So, what is that one need to do? Let us explore few things which can help you acquire some resources in getting what you want.


Start the below with a paper and pen/pencil. Write it down, whenever I ask you to imagine or think. That way it helps. You need to trust me. 


Before we proceed, you need to ensure the below. 

  •  Ask yourself what is the best thing that you have done for yourself without anyone's help which you feel pride about. This thing that you have done should have been done with self-motivation. You wanted it so badly and you pushed yourself to get it. Let's call it a "proud moment". 
  •  Now ask yourself on what is the one thing which you want to do but you are unable to push yourself to do it. Let's call it an "aspired moment". 

We are going to work something on "aspired moment" before we start. This will help us in getting some details about what we want before we proceed with what we are going to do about it. 


Take the example of your favorite movie. Now, imagine what did you like most in that movie. If I have to ask you to remember the best moments in that movie, how would you remember it? 

  • Is it the visuals? or
  • Is it the dialogues/music? or 
  • Is it the feeling that you have when you think about the movie? or 
  • Is it a special smell that reminds you of the scenes in the movie? or 
  • Is it a taste that makes you remember?

Take another example of remembering an old friend from your past. What makes you remember that person? It could be either the person's face or how he/she speaks or how did they made you feel or it could be a perfume/body odour of them or it could be the taste of a food item that you have shared with them.


Based on the movie and remembering your old friend, identify what is the predominant sense that helps you remember things? Let us call that as "token". Choose your "token" from the below. 


Visuals: If it is the visuals, then you need to think of a picture or a motion picture of the situation that you are associating with. Focus on the attributes of the picture like size, length, breadth, color, brightness, border, etc.

Dialogue/Music: If it is the dialogue or the music, then you need to think of the sound of the situation that you are associating with. Focus on the attributes of the sound like a pitch, tempo, stereo/mono, music, dialogue, noise, etc.

Emotions: If it is the feelings, then you need to think of the feeling/emotion that you would like to associate with the situation. 

Smell: If it is the smell, then you need to smell the best smell that you remember faster. 

Taste: What is the best food that you like which helps your taste buds? 


Close your eyes and assign a token for your "proud moment". Open your eyes and count in reverse from 10 to 1. Close your eyes again and try to think of the "proud moment". Check whether the associated token comes up. Open your eyes and count in reverse from 10 to 1.


Close your eyes and assign a token for your "aspired moment". Open your eyes and count in reverse from 10 to 1. Close your eyes again and try to think of the "aspired moment". Check whether the associated token comes up. Open your eyes and count in reverse from 10 to 1.


Go ahead and answer the below questions. 

  • What is the reason that you want the "aspired moment" so badly? 

Write it down. 

  • How important this "aspired moment" for you in your life?

Write it down. 

  • What will you get if you reach the "aspired moment"?

Write it down. 

  • What are the list of things that you need to do to get the "aspired moment"? 

Write the list of things down that you need to do towards achieving your aspired moment. It will be a list of things to do. You can call it as "action items". 


Ask yourself if this is want you want and convince yourself to work towards it before proceeding further.


Before we start with the next steps, I suggest you go through all that we have done so far. If you feel like correcting or changing something, feel free to do so. 


Find a peaceful place to sit and do this small activity. It will not take more than 5 minutes of your time.

·      Place both the hands, on each of your thighs with palms facing up.

·      Close your eyes to avoid distraction during the process.

·      On your right hand, place the "aspired moment".

·      On your left hand, place the first "action item".

·      Assemble the order of items one by one till the right hand where the "aspired moment" is kept.

·      Observe the list of things that you need to do from the left hand till the right hand. If you feel that there is a need for changing the order to make sense, feel free to change the order of "action items". 

·      Try and move the left hand slowly towards the right hand and as you do it watch them merge one by one.

·      Each one of the action items is getting completed and getting merged with the next one in the order.

·      Observe and understand what are all the things that you need to complete each of the action items. It could your inner resources such as determination, self-motivation, etc. or it could an external resource such as help from someone, etc.

·      Notice all the resources that you need in the process. Do bring the hands closer until the left hand is clasped with the right hand.

·      Now pull the clasped hand towards your chest and as it touches the chest, absorb all that action items, the aspired moment, the inner resources, external resources, your satisfaction of completion and all those. Feel the sense of achievement, satisfaction, happiness, etc. as you have achieved "aspired moment". 


Once you have all the resources you need to get started, open your eyes and feel the enriched awareness that you have got. Stand up and move to a different place to continue the last piece of work. 


·      Sit down in the most comfortable place and as usual close your eyes. Place both the hands-on each of the thighs with palms facing up.

·      Place the "aspired moment" on one hand. It will be the token that you have created for your "aspired moment".

·      Place the token for the "proud moment" on another hand. Take a moment and clap your hands by bringing both the hands before your face.

·      As you hear the clap sound both the moments become one. 


Place both the moments on each of the hands again. Clap again to make the moments become one. Repeat it until you feel that both the moments are the same. 


Whenever you are getting distracted or you feel that you are unable to move forward towards your "aspired moment", clap before your face. Keep reading what you have written and whenever you feel like working towards something, pen them down. Keep pushing yourself for excellence.



About the author
Vivek Jayaraman

Vivek is a compassionate Coach, Mentalist, and Story Teller. He is an ICAgile Authorized Instructor, NLP Trainer, Agile, leadership & Wellness Coach, and a practicing psychotherapist with more than 16 years of experience. He currently works as a Customer Success Officer for Leanpitch Technologies & LeanGears LLC. Vivek has a knack to work closely with people and help them succeed. He shares that experience of working with people on all his training and uses them in his Coaching, Counselling, and Consulting assignments.

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